Me, Me, Me...

Me, me, me…

Selfish as it may seem this is all about me. Me. Me. Me. I want to be able to express myself and some of the changes I am going through. I want to be able to spread the positivity that is happening around me. I want to change the world…like that will ever happen, I know. But one small story of positivity and encouragement could mean the world to someone. And maybe this is a way to have my readers hold me accountable for my actions. Maybe we can all take steps to becoming better people. Who’s with me?

A spiritual awakening…

For many years I have been unhappy and depressed, sometimes for good reason, sometimes for no apparent reason at all. I am happy in most (if not all) relationships, decent job, living comfortably for the most part and it hits me like a brick wall. Why is that? Is it my self-image that is so warped and needs fixing? Is it family issues that have been going on for years and do not seem to be getting better? Is it slowly exiting the honeymoon phase of my marriage? Is it some of the dreams that have died along the way? Is it the new dreams that seem so far away? What can it be?

We all have our up and down days; that is for sure. We are only human. But is there a way to self-sooth? Is there a way to make ourselves better individuals physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally? I believe we can. I believe there is so much power within all of us. A few years ago I was fortunate enough to hear a speaker note that one mitochondria of a single cell has enough energy to power New York City for a month. Isn’t that wild?! Think of that the next time you need a little energy boost throughout your day. There is so much potential in all of us, we just need to tap into it.

I have been searching for years to find a little box to fit myself into as far as my religious and/or spiritual beliefs. Raised Catholic in a predominantly Christian region of the country, I never thought that I fit in. I am not bashing Christianity, but it is simply not my cup of tea. It is a great moral compass and it has many benefits for many people, and I do encourage those who are strengthened and become better people by their faith in Jesus Christ. It just doesn’t work that way for me. What I do disagree with is people blatantly judging and hating people with their faith and this speaks not only to Christianity. I just see people use the Bible as a weapon for hate on a regular basis. Like I said, I live in a strong Christian-filled region.

So what is it that I believe? I have recently discovered that the religion for me would have to be Buddhism. Yup, that’s right. Buddhism, though I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a Buddhist. I have wanted to find something to call myself, that little box to fit myself into, but now I realize that faith and spirituality is so deep, how can you call yourself one thing? How can you share one exact, “to the tee” set of beliefs with any other single individual in this universe? I don’t think that is possible. I have Catholic friends who disagree with multiple things in the Catholic Church, but they still call themselves Catholic. I guess I would label them “Kind-of-Catholic.” In the way that these people are “Kind-of-Catholic,” I am “Kind-of-Buddhist.”

I have not just magically changed my religious preference or clung to some idea. I am not forcing myself to follow some set of rituals. I have found that the core of Buddhism is exactly what I have believed all along, throughout my whole life. I now know that I am not alone. Buddhism, in its basic principles, is summed up in the one mantra “Do no harm.” Simple as that. Do not harm any living being, including oneself, for it has consequences. Every action has consequences in this world and there is a balance that needs to be maintained. There is no mortal sin in Buddhism. It is simply following moral guidelines in everyday life. It is simply thinking before you do. It is tapping into your hidden potential with meditation and awareness of the mind and its lack of limits. It is developing a right frame of mind to avoid The Three Poisons: Greed, Hatred, and Delusion (or ignorance).

What’s next?

I am integrating The Noble Eightfold Path into my everyday life. I am trying to reach a higher state of being. Know that I know I am only human so I will slip up every now and again. I will give in to anger. I will have days where I do not have the right concentration. I will have times that I will feel sadness. I will be selfish sometimes. But with hard work, I can minimize the effects these mental traps have on my thinking and actions.

I am slowly finding ways to better serve the world around me. I am trying to become a little more faith-filled and a lot more self-less. I hope you all will encourage my journey. I have only just begun this spiritual adventure and I cannot wait to share the ride with you.

Final thought…

 “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Much love and peace,

Charlie